tadpoles and c-sections by Steve Calamars
The kitchen smelled of lavender and antiseptic. Veronica Trill stood at the counter and used a belt as an improvised tourniquet. She pulled it tight and watched as the vein in her left arm inflated like a slender green balloon. She massaged the vein gently with her fingertips and smiled to herself. Veronica had a pretty smile. She was beautiful. Her long brown hair pulled up. Her sad eyes studying the vein's girth from behind her black-framed glasses. She smiled to herself again and walked over to the kitchen table. She tore open some sterile-white packaging. She removed the rather
large syringe that had been sealed inside. She pulled the belt tighter and rubbed the swollen vein.
Veronica then eyed the 8 tiny test-tubes cradled in the small black rack setting in the center of the table.
She slid the rack closer and examined the tubes. She smiled when she saw the tadpoles squiggling through the murky green water.
Veronica pulled the belt tighter and opened one of the test-tubes. She carefully directed the syringe into the tube and sucked up the contents.
She tapped the syringe and checked for movement. She laughed when she saw the tadpoles still swimming in the green water.
She counted 15 of them and pulled the belt tighter one last time.
Veronica then slipped the syringe into her engorged green vein and pushed the contents into her body.
She felt the tadpoles pass from the syringe and begin to paddle through her blood-stream.
She set the syringe down on the table and dropped the belt to the floor. She sat down in a chair and blushed.
She could feel the tickle of the tadpoles almost kayaking through her heart and pumping out across her entire body.
Veronica smiled when she felt them finally arrive at their intended destination. The tadpoles settled in her abdomen and fluttered like butterflies.
She knew she had to move on to the next phase though, or her sacrifice would come to nothing. She gathered her strength and stood up. Veronica walked over to the cupboard and removed a small black box.
She carried the box over to the counter. She plugged in the blender and filled its large glass pitcher with tap water.
She dropped a few dissolvable tablets of amino acids, fish oils, vitamin-c and multi-minerals into the water. Veronica then opened the small black box.
She quickly poured 30 to 40 massive horse-flies into the pitcher and sealed the top. She placed the pitcher on the blender and hit the mix button.
The engine screeched and mixed the water, tablets and flies into a chalky gray soup.
Veronica popped the pitcher's seal and concentrated. She rubbed her belly, thought about the sacrifice and chugged the gray soup.
She managed to get it all down and set the empty pitcher in the sink.
This concoction alone would provide the nourishment necessary to sustain her during her task for the next 12 weeks.
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One afternoon, while washing the dishes, Veronica finally felt the kicks and heard the croaks coming from her stomach. She looked down at her swollen belly and smiled. She dried her hands and knew the time had come.
She retrieved the kit from her bedroom and flipped on all the lights in the kitchen. She removed her clothing and put on a robe. She left the robe open and proceeded to the cupboard. Veronica removed the small damp basket she had prepared and set it beside the kitchen table. She took a deep breath and sat down in a chair.
Veronica opened the kit and slipped on a pair of latex gloves. She removed a bottle of antiseptic and smeared it all over her swollen belly with a soft blue sponge.
She then removed a scalpel from the kit and examined the blade. Veronica heard another croak in her stomach and positioned herself in the chair.
She made a large incision in her lower abdomen and set the scalpel on the table. Veronica eased the appropriate organs to the side and slid her hand up through the incision.
She bumped up against a soft fatty mass. She gripped it gently and maneuvered it out through the incision.
Veronica held a chubby wet bullfrog in her hands and smiled at the thing. It looked back at her, eyes blinking and let out a deep, bellowing "Ribbet!".
She placed it tenderly into the small damp basket beside the table.
She then went back in through the incision and bumped up against another soft fatty mass.
By the end of the procedure, Veronica had removed a total of 15 chubby wet bullfrogs from her belly. They all slumped in the basket, big eyes moist and blinking, throats ballooning with each baritone "Ribbet!".
Veronica stitched herself up with the supplies from her kit. She closed her robe and knew she had to proceed. She stood up, despite the pain and soreness, and lifted the basket. She carried it to the back door and stepped out onto the back porch.
The little green pond she had constructed in her backyard was calm and quiet. It was polka-dotted with lily-pads and pink flowers.
Veronica set the basket on the ground and helped each frog out onto a lily-pad. She smiled when they croaked and torpedoed their long red tongues toward dragonflies and grasshoppers.
She stood there over-looking the pond. She rubbed her sore belly and knew with 1 cycle down, that the other 7 would only get easier as she perfected the routines and procedures. Veronica smiled at the thought and went back into the house.
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It took Veronica a little over 2 years to finish all 8 cycles. She went through each test-tube. She took 15 tadpoles with each injection, and after 12 weeks, she removed 15 bullfrogs with each incision.
She sustained herself and those growing inside her on the chalky gray soup of amino acids, fish oils, vitamin-c, multi-minerals, water and horseflies . Five times a day Veronica would choke down the concoction. She never lost sight of the fact that it was necessary and did it willingly each time.
By the end of the 8th cycle, she had 120 bullfrogs living in the little pond outside in her backyard.
When the day she had been waiting for arrived at last, Veronica bathed in lavender for 2 hours.
She dried herself and dressed.
She squeezed her thick brown thighs and hips into a tight black skirt. She pulled a soft white blouse over her curvy torso and hung a pearl necklace around her neck.
Veronica then applied red lipstick, almost surgically, and kissed her mirror seductively. She smiled at herself and walked over to her closet.
Lastly, she slid her feet down into a pair of 6-inch black stilettos.
She looked at herself in the mirror. Her body was an exaggerated silhouette of hips, thighs and chest. She ran her fingers through her long brown hair and examined her cleavage. Before leaving the bedroom, she slipped off her glasses and set them on the nightstand.
She walked through the kitchen and up to the backdoor.
She opened it and looked out over the pond.
The frogs were hopping and croaking.
After 2 years of sacrifice, Veronica was ready to receive her reward. She smiled at the thought.
She would walk through the backyard and kiss each frog until she found her prince.
She blushed and ran her fingers through her long brown hair one more time.
Veronica softly bit her bottom lip and stepped out onto the porch in her stilettos-
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