Raw and one more

Several years ago 
I first started a painting for you
one I still haven't shown you,
I knew you only as the funny older man
who'd sometimes show his face,
make a room full of people laugh,
or scare some away when you 
were in a bad mood.
We talked a little, not a lot.
I was fine with that then,

but now I feel differently.
You created an atmosphere that
inspired me to create and
made sure I'd never forget
the kind of raw beauty
that can last forever.
I wouldn't want you to be
anyone other than you,
anyone younger, more naive.
I want to see if you and I
can have some of that
raw beauty together,
innocent, honest souls
I've lived a couple of lives 
before this one
and as much as I've learned
to listen to the heart's
little whispers
in my ear,
I also know as
the fire gives off
its final flicker,
I may reach for 
a hand that's not there.

~ Su Red 2011

This song rhymes with romance

Your eyes are like shadows
so many times staring

deep into mine--I held that
gaze in the portion of my heart called "maybe"-

 

Now there are two dark shadows
In the distance that used to be
Beautiful chocolate curious eyes,
Wide with passion and desire.
Making love to you on Easter morning,
As my body quivered beneath your warm thighs
And a not too quiet moan escaped my lips,
I thought "Holy, Holy, there must be a God."
But as hearts warmed and bodies warmed,
A cool breeze blew in the window 
Whispering unexpected secrets,
Leaving goosebumps of fear on our moist skin.
How I prayed and wished we would 
Move closer together in that bed, wrap
Your comforter tightly around us,
And warm each other again,
Drifting off to sleep and dreaming
Of the truth that could comfort us
And bring your chocolate eyes 
Into my gaze once again.

Instead I only feel your eyes
In the distance, so far behind me.
And mine I close tonight.
A tear falls upon my cheek
As I realize I could not 
ease your fears.
I fall asleep alone,
But I can still hear your voice
that I haven't heard in so long, 
Saying "Goodbye."
And so I cry.
At some point I awaken.
It is still dark outside.
My window is open and
A faint orange glow catches my eye.
I look out and find Mark Twain
And Friedrich Nietzsche side
By side in the oak tree, 
Smoking a clove cigarette.
Nietzsche winks at me and 
Tells me to join them.
Together the three of us sit, smoke
And talk about the right way,
The correct way, and the only way,
Coming to no conclusions, 
but happy not to be alone.

Su Red '08

 

photography by Su Red